The Power of Mentorship: Why You Need a Mentor.
You are an incredible powerhouse. I believe in you, and I know you are achieving amazing things and will continue to do so.
I also know that it is hard. Sometimes self-doubt and imposter syndrome have you questioning your every thought. Sometimes it is hard to motivate yourself to get dressed let alone inspire your team or have that performance conversation.
Each and every one of us is human, and humans need a community. We need to hear positive feedback from others, we need competition, and we need to share our stories and feel heard.
That is Why You Need a Mentor
You have a responsibility to yourself and others to live your best life, to strive for more and to do that you need community.
Don’t just settle for the community that you have. Make an intentional effort to create the most inspiring, rewarding community for yourself. Find mentors and be a mentor. Energy is infinite and the more you fill your cup the braver you will be, the braver you are the more you have to give.
You are the average of the 5 people you spend most time with, so stack the odds in your favour and make that group a powerhouse!
Throughout my career and life I have had many mentors, Each of them inspired personal growth and helped me propel myself forward. At first I didn’t understand the value of mentorship, now I enjoy being a mentor, and receiving mentorship.
I remember my first mentor and that I didn’t realize the gift I was being offered.
Another mentor taught me to put my money where my mouth is and invest in my own training before asking others to do the same.
Recent mentors showed me how to create a balanced business model, to write a book and have the confidence to become a speaker.
The right mentor will help propel you along your path, the thing is, you have to do the work, you have to have the vision, then build a team to help you. In this article on mentorship, I’ll discuss:
How to Own Your Growth with a Mentor
How To Get the Most Out of Mentorship
Pay It Forward: How to Be a Mentor
How To Live Your Greatest Life with Mentorship
Fear of failure, of being embarrassed, is the single most debilitating condition that will hold you back in any situation.
Don’t let fear stop you from finding a mentor.
Fearless doesn’t mean an absence of fear. Rather you strive to expand your comfort zone, to step into the fear and do it anyway, to not allow fear to stop you, to embrace fear as a driving force for expansion.
I am writing this article today as a successful solopreneur. I have created a life of balance where I can do my self-care, go on incredible vacations, and attract abundance by supporting and inspiring others.
But it wasn’t always like that. Fear has held me back from many opportunities, and when I learned to embrace that fear, my growth was exponential.
Let me take you back to the summer of 2020.
I was already working from home, and like so many others, my husband was now working at the dining table. He had just got a new computer and called me out to help him with something. As I walked over I saw a message flash up on his screen “I love you. I can’t wait to see you” the thing is, he wasn’t messaging with me.
I was in shock, but I acted like I hadn’t seen it, helped him do his thing and then went back to my office. Stunned.
The thing is I had been questioning my relationship for a couple of years. I knew that it wasn’t healthy, but I kept making excuses and making do. Universe in her infinite wisdom decided that I needed an awakening, a kick up the butt to take the brave action.
Later that day he left for his work trip, and I phoned a friend and told them what happened, then started planning how to tear my life apart.
When I decided to leave my marriage do you think I was fearless? No. I was terrified. And I knew that it was something I had to do.
I knew that I was no longer willing to sell my soul for financial security.
I had to challenge my limiting beliefs. I had been brought up to believe that finding a nice husband was the pinnacle of success. In fact, my dad never told me he was proud of any of my jobs, but he was proud I had a good husband.
Just because you have been brought up to believe one thing doesn’t mean it’s true, and doesn’t mean it has to stay that way. You get to tear your life down to the studs and recreate it for yourself, embracing your powerful potential.
I knew I would do much better with support, so I reached out to a few trusted people, and created a support network. My mentors for this journey included my mum, life coach, counsellor, best friend and an incredibly generous ex co-worker who I can never adequately repay.
Along my journey from being a little kid in rural England to where I am today, a life coach and professional mentor appearing regularly on television, that support team has grown and evolved, as have I.
How to Own Your Growth with a Mentor
You have to take the lead. This is your life. You have a responsibility to live your greatest life possible.
No one laments having done too much on their deathbed, they regret not having taken chances.
Dream big. Make yourself a bucket list of audacious goals that you want to achieve. Personal goals help us feel more fulfilled at work, and career goals help us feel more fulfilled at home, and pay for those bucket list ideas too!
Last year I drove solo from southern BC all the way to Tuktoyaktuk on the North coast of the NWT, I bought 20 acres of raw land with a waterfall on it, and I led a luxury 5-day off-grid retreat. What are your dreams?
If you do away with excuses, remove limiting beliefs and expectations, what would you do in your wildest dreams?
Like I said right at the start, I believe in you and I know you can do this. And you are going to get there faster with help.
Who do you need to be to make those dreams happen? What changes do you need to create in your life? Who can help you?
Mentors can be people you know in real life, they can also be online.
ACTION: Clean Up Your Feed
Audit your social media and remove all the things that drain your energy, replacing them with action and inspiration. What leaders do you admire? What kind of activities and groups do you find inspiring? Social media can be a vampire sucking your time and energy, or it can be an uplifting source of inspiration. Your call.
Do a life audit and identify your areas for growth, what kind of support could you benefit from? Proactively seek out people to fill those roles.
Be open to receiving opportunities in unexpected places. A fellow Rotarian and I connected after a talk I gave at his club, and our friendship evolved into a mentorship where he gets a thrill from using his skills, and I expand my knowledge.
Your supervisor has a responsibility to help you achieve organizational goals, but they are not necessarily your mentor. Perhaps there is someone else in your organization you admire. Maybe you read a leadership book by a local author, really connected with a speaker at an event, or you googled leaders in your field. You can also seek out professional mentors such as a life coach like myself. Use your creativity and initiative to seek out potential mentors who can help you with your goals.
Yes, reaching out to ask someone to be your mentor is going to bring up fear. When you feel fear, you know you are on the right track. View fear as a friend, a confirmation that you are making the right choice. If you don’t feel fear, then it’s too easy.
How to Get the Most Out of Mentorship
Be prepared. Do your homework. Be honest. Be vulnerable.
Time is the most valuable commodity that we have, there are no refunds and no do-overs.
Respect that, respect your time and that of your mentor.
When reaching out to a potential mentor, it's important to approach the conversation with a clear understanding of your goals and how the mentor can help you achieve them.
1. Do your research
Before reaching out to a potential mentor, take some time to learn about their background, experience, and interests. This will help you tailor your approach and demonstrate that you've done your homework.
2. Be clear and concise
When reaching out to a potential mentor, keep your message short, sweet, and to the point. Clearly explain who you are, your goals, and why you believe this mentor would be a good fit.
3. Show your commitment
Demonstrate that you're serious about the mentorship by discussing your commitment to the process, your willingness to put in the work, and your desire to learn and grow.
4. Be flexible
Be open to the mentor's suggestions and recommendations, even if they don't align exactly with your initial goals. Remember, the mentor has more experience and may be able to offer valuable insights and perspectives.
5. Follow up
After your initial conversation, be sure to follow up with the mentor to express your gratitude and to keep the lines of communication open. This will help to build a strong relationship and ensure that you get the most out of the mentorship.
Don’t be put off if you aren’t successful right away, learn from the experience, tweak your approach and keep going.
Once you have found your mentor, I highly recommend a mentorship contract. No matter if the relationship is paid or casual. Take it seriously. What are the roles and responsibilities, goals, communication channels etc. Revisit your contract and check in that your goals are the same, or adjust them if they have changed. As a life coach and professional mentor I always have a contract with my clients, it sets expectations and maximizes results.
A lesson learned:
Back in my 20s I had an opportunity to work in a different division of my company and went on the road with a senior team member. I remember him giving me advice and I acted too cool for school saying “yeah I know that” instead of asking why and how and can you show me.
How disrespectful, to him and to me.
What a wasted opportunity.
Don’t be embarrassed about what you don’t know.
Practice the skills you are being taught and come back to your mentor with your experience, what went well and what didn’t, unpack it together, learn from it and grow.
Be honest, be vulnerable. You will get so much more from life and mentorship that way.
Fast forward to my 30s and I recognized the value of mentorship, attending meetings with my boss I learned how to nurture relationships, to see the bigger picture and make lasting connections.
Pay It Forward: How to Be a Mentor
No matter where you are in your personal or professional life, you are an inspiration to others. Do your best to behave in an appropriately inspiring way. Let people see your strengths and vulnerabilities.
When I left my marriage, picked up and walked away from financial security, I didn’t realize how much power my story had to inspire others. We always think we are the only one going through whatever we are going through, but the fact is there are always others in a similar space who can draw strength from us. When I started opening up about my personal journey, a lot of women reached out letting me know how much I inspired them.
Who are you an inspiration to? Who can you mentor?
Back when I worked for Court Services Branch I had the honour of mentoring other managers in the North region, helping them create positive work cultures while meeting targets and being their authentic selves. Our Regional Director created a Change Agent movement where managers mentored outstanding employees to be mentors and educators themselves. Building a succession plan rooted far deeper than just moving up a pay grade.
As a professional mentor I have helped my clients to overcome self-doubt and imposter syndrome, practice for job interviews and earn promotions, start new ventures, and expand their businesses. Being a mentor is incredibly empowering.
ACTION: Become A Mentor.
What skills do you possess that you could share? Who do you know that you could mentor? Reach out and let that person know you would like to help them, why and how.
Think about the challenges you faced to get where you are today. What do you wish you had known? These might be industry specific, or more broadly the challenges we face as women.
Think of the ripple effect you can have on that person’s life. Imagine how fulfilling it will be to unlock their powerful potential. You will be able to take what you learn as a mentee into being a mentor, and your experience as a mentor will help you be a better mentee.
Lead by example and create a culture of mentorship at all levels in your organization. You reap what you sow: the law of attraction will bring you great mentors when you take the lead and become one yourself.
How to Live Your Greatest Life with Mentorship
You are responsible for stepping into your powerful potential.
Expansion and growth occur outside your comfort zone. You need to keep pushing and expanding that bubble so you can continue to grow.
Think back to that bucket list. What audacious dreams are you working towards?
Sure you can do amazing things on your own, and you can do so much more with support. Surround yourself with people who lift you and inspire you.
ACTION: Break Up with Toxic People Who Want You to Dim Your Light.
You have a finite amount of time and energy, be selective about how you spend it. There are people in your life who are sucking your time and energy. It is time to be brave, feel the fear and end those relationships to make space for expansion. For some relationships that might be spending less time, others you may need to cut the cord altogether. Don’t let fear hold you back, cut these people loose because they are preventing you from reaching your potential.
You are the keeper of your energy. Trust your intuition. Listen to feedback. Say yes to opportunity.
When you are brave and choose action, living the greatest life possible, you are an inspiration to others. It is your responsibility to do more and be more, so that they can too.
Mentorship is Rewarding
Mentorship is a wonderful way to augment your life. You will find fulfilment from being a mentor, and you will grow with the support of a mentor.
Let fear be your friend. If it feels scary, you are on the right path!
Don't settle for the community you have, be brave and intentionally surround yourself with others who inspire and challenge you.
It is never too late to start over, your potential is limitless and you have the power to change your narrative.
It’s Time to Take Action on Your Mentorship Journey
· Clean Up Your Feed: Make social media a mentor not a vampire.
· You Get What You Give: Become a mentor and teach others to shine brightly.
· Use Your Resources Wisely: Break up with toxic people and create space for expansion.
If you are ready to level up with support and accountability, schedule your free strategy session and let’s talk about how life coaching can accelerate your growth.